Stick it to the man

I have always had a wonderful relationship with words. I have devoured books for as long as I can remember. As well as my love of consuming words, writing is also a crucial part of my existence, be it in my journal or a blog post. However when it comes to words to describe my medical conditions I have had a rather different experience. I have had two stories with my urology condition that have left me rather bemused and distressed as I try to unpick and make sense of them. My first experience was one my most bizarre in my journey around the many departments I’ve been to in the NHS. There had been so much confusion about what was going on downstairs, I had now been self-catheterising a few months, without being quite clear on why it had actually happened? Nobody quite seemed to know and I believe this was as a result of seeing numerous different departments. I arrived in the Urology Department at the Leeds General Infirmary, hoping to avoid the nurse mentioned in a previous blo...

Whenever I am discussing my condition or body in general, I see the body and oneself as two separate things that need to work together. They need to be a team to function properly and perform. I felt that with this issue, my body is fighting against me and that is often a difficult thing to contend with. The issue is particularly enlightened when mentioning ones manhood. You need to be a team more than ever, whatever the context and when all this started happening it was a confusing time. It felt like my body had shut down, unwilling to cooperate for the simplest of things like going for a wee! However in the early stages, when I realised I would have to permanently self catheterise, I was told I could meet a urology nurse who would be able to show me how to use these new mythical objects to regain a little bit more control and have an understanding of this new way of life. It was massively reassuring so I headed to the hospital with a slight sense of trepidation.   Agai...

I recently contacted a charitable organisation, to tell my story. They seemed quite interested but as we tried to organise a conversation nothing came of it and yet again I have reached that point, as I have many times in the last few years, how do I talk about the fact I cannot wee? That one day I went to the toilet and nothing happened and 5 years later it still hasn’t. I have often asked myself is there any real need to tell it? I have decided there is. Men don’t talk enough about problems, we keep it quite and try to match up to certain traits of masculinity when the expectations of what a man is, are ever changing. We have weaknesses and flaws. Our insecurities often come down to image and perhaps performance. So what happens when a twenty-two year old has a seismic change with his manhood? It was the summer of 2012 and I was back in London for the summer after a turbulent final year at university. I had overcome the usual hurdles of dissertation deadlines and the small m...